Seriously Stuck 7/5/04

The Monday holiday is a blessing, posing as an extra weekend day so that I can relax a little about not getting anything done, under the illusion that I'm not supposed to, when I know that the sad fact is that I can't. We will visit Friend this afternoon, and not have to contend with crowded parking or workday traffic downtown. I will do some laundry and a few chores, not too many, and cook, and, hopefully, write. Two is a couple of hours up the road, visiting his girlfriend at our flagship state U. Three is still sleeping. I continue to feel the need for a plan, but my husband, and business partner, is a mak-it-up-as-you-go-along and shoot from the hip kind kind of guy and that's not going to change. I hope we can use today to talk some and get a bit of clarity about what the next steps should be. Maybe some of his associates will be willing to work today (we don't seem to stop for holidays or weekends, for that matter) and somehow, this will all inch forward. I continue to hope for a breakthrough within the crazy group with which he's currently involved. They have a couple of very lucrative projects on the table that they cannot do without him and I have to think that if we hold out, they'll come up with some up-front $$ for his services. They sure keep sending him work via email, and he's ignoring it to try to force some open communication. They're a fairly dysfunctional lot. Although I know the highest yield possibilities on my plate lie within his initiatives, which require my support to develop, I don't see any of them having much short-term promise and remain drawn to the security of a job (something where I don't have to think too much, at least not away from the work). The boys' accident sort of took me off the job search task last week, and I haven't heard anything further from either of the ads I answered. I stopped perusing the ads too. Maybe today could be used to take that back up again, although I hesitate to begin, because I fear that it will end up like the last search, and I'll only be able to find full-time permanent work that wouldn't enable me to keep doing what I'm doing with him, leaving me having to live with getting offered a good job and not taking it. It does seem that when I get really far along in a job search, he has some breakthrough in the "consulting practice" which combines a surge of need for my services here with and abatement of the desperate need for regular income. Maybe I should start the search in hopes of that happening again. I guess I've already done that. The laundry is going and there are pleasant, although not fancy, options for lunch. We had fun yesterday, as dinner guests in the home of some very close friends with in-laws visiting. It was a large rowdy bunch, and we excused ourselves when the time came to walk up to "the biggest fireworks display in the Region" because my Vietnam combat veteran spouse is not particularly fond of fireworks. We came home and watched them on tv, all the while able to hear them, for real, in the distance. Later: I went to visit Friend in the hospital and he's much better, catheter gone, only one IV, and he'd been up for a while. It was good to see and we had a nice, quiet visit. I took my computer and showed him the pictures of the car. When I got back, I found an email from an HR person at the college to which I sent the resume and writing samples. It was "formish" but I think someone typed it (an auto-reply would have come a week ago). It said they were evaluating my materials and would be back with me later. I thought that was better than "Good luck with your job search." :)