I've been chewin' nails and don't know why. I need a sabbatical, some time alone, a chance to breathe. I try to keep myself centered in the maelstrom that is my day to day. I mean, that's the whole point, isn't it? 'Cause it's pretty easy to stay centered amidst calm, right? I generally do a pretty good job of keeping a smile, a stiff upper lip, or whatever it is I'm supposed to keep to stay pleasant enough to stand to be me. When it's not working, it must mean I need to take stock and get rid of all the thinks that take away and cultivate more that give back. That "thinks" was a typo, but I'm keeping it because it's in a way more accurately descriptive than what I was trying to say.
I've always been way too big into not upsetting the apple cart for my own good. I've taken not being a complainer to a psychotic self-abusive extreme. I mean, isn't indignant outrage and extreme wave-making sometimes the appropriate response to things? I don't think tantrums are ever justified, and they violate my zero drama tolerance rules, but is there no interim problem-solving process between expressing displeasure or concern and walking the fuck out? When is it time to stop throwing good money after bad? When does our life's energy become something too valuable to squander on that which we don't love, that which doesn't add to us as least as much as it takes from us?
Here's how I spent my Valentine's Day. It was perfect:
I need a better plan. In the meantime, I'll do my best not to say what I really think. If I manage to survive this week, I'll have a post about my new favorite movie, Inglourious Basterds, ready for this weekend in advance of the upcoming Academy Awards. "Burn it down!" Peace, out, y'all.
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